Five Styles of Perfectionism and One Big Debate
Perfectionism is a complicated topic.
When I first looked into the research on how perfectionism is defined, I was immediately overwhelmed!
Different researchers break perfectionism into different types. And use different words to describe the same ideas. And disagree on whether perfectionism can have positive or only negative aspects.
It’s a lot to navigate.
Despite all that, I think this research offers valuable insights for people who are struggling with perfectionism.
It’s helpful to learn about some of the common themes that have been identified. If we find themes that we resonate with, perhaps we’ll feel less alone in our experiences.
Information about perfectionism can also get us reflecting on our experiences in new ways: How does perfectionism show up for me? Which ideas fit for me and which don’t?
Self-awareness is key when it comes to resisting perfectionism. We need to be able to notice and label perfectionism in action before we can step outside it.
In this article, I’ll cover two approaches to defining different styles of perfectionism. My goal isn’t to decide whether these are the most helpful or accurate theories out there, but hopefully to spark some new reflections on your relationship with perfectionism.
Three Styles of Perfectionism
Hewitt and Flett identified three styles of perfectionism:
Self-oriented perfectionism
Socially prescribed perfectionism
Other-oriented perfectionism
Self-oriented perfectionism
In this type of perfectionism, the person has a strong sense of internal motivation and sets high standards for themselves. They often view themselves as failing to meet expectations, seeing a gap between where they think they “should” be and where they are now.
People who experience self-oriented perfectionism tend to be very hard on themselves. Even when they reach their goals, they rarely celebrate them. Because they assume they should be meeting or even going past these benchmarks.
Socially prescribed perfectionism
Those who experience socially prescribed perfectionism believe that other people set high standards for them. They work hard to get approval from others, fearing they’ll be judged or rejected if they don’t meet expectations.
With this type of perfectionism, people are motivated to avoid disappointing others, whether that’s their parents, extended family, friends, or employers. The belief that others expect perfection could be based on past experiences (e.g., frequent criticism from parents) or unhelpful assumptions about what other people think.
Other-oriented perfectionism
With other-oriented perfectionism, the person sets high expectations for others. They often evaluate and pick apart those around them. And blame other people for any problems that happen in their relationships.
Three Styles of Perfectionism & Mental Health
High levels of socially prescribed perfectionism have been linked to a range of mental health concerns, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts.
The research on self-oriented perfectionism is mixed. Some studies show that people who experience self-oriented perfectionism are able to function well and achieve their goals. Other studies show a relationship between self-oriented perfectionism and mental health concerns, particularly eating disorders and suicidal thoughts.
Perhaps self-oriented perfectionism has some helpful and some unhelpful aspects. Or maybe people who experience self-oriented perfectionism do well when they’re able to achieve their goals. But if they start to “fall short” in some way, perfectionism could negatively impact their mental health.
Also complicating things: People can experience multiple types of perfectionism at once. They could be holding themselves to incredibly high standards while believing that other people have similarly high expectations for them.
Other-oriented perfectionism doesn’t appear to predict mental health symptoms as directly. But it's often associated with relationship issues, for reasons that are likely clear.
Helpful and Unhelpful Styles of Perfectionism
Another approach to defining perfectionism focuses on drawing lines between more or less helpful styles.
These styles are often labelled as personal standards versus evaluative concerns perfectionism.
Personal Standards Perfectionism (aka Perfectionistic Strivings aka Conscientious Perfectionism)
With this style, people are said to set lofty goals and strive for excellence. But they find these standards motivating versus overwhelming. They see themselves as competent and able to reach their goals. People who experience personal standards perfectionism aren’t overly self-critical. Instead, they see mistakes and challenges as learning opportunities.
This type of perfectionism tends to be self-oriented, with people pursuing achievements they personally value. An example of personal standards perfectionism is an elite athlete who is dedicated to their training.
Evaluative Concerns Perfectionism (aka Perfectionistic Concerns aka Self-Evaluative Perfectionism)
According to this theory, it's the evaluative concerns version of perfectionism that creates problems. With this style, people set high standards for themselves but they’re also very self-critical. They fear failing and being judged negatively by others. People who experience evaluative concerns often doubt their decisions, making it difficult for them to take action. And they tend to dwell on any mistakes they make, even the minor ones, seeing mistakes as unacceptable.
The Debate
There’s lots of debate about this approach to defining perfectionism. Some people argue there are positive forms of perfectionism that allow people to achieve excellence. Indeed, some studies of personal standards perfectionism have found no increased risk for mental health concerns compared to non-perfectionists.
Other researchers argue that helpful perfectionism isn’t perfectionism at all. Instead, perfectionism becomes perfectionism (instead of striving for excellence) when it crosses unhelpful lines, like getting people stuck in self-criticism, indecision, or inaction.
Plus, some studies have still found links between personal standards perfectionism and mental health concerns, including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders.
Finally, there may be more layers to unpack here. Maybe there are other characteristics or behaviours that better explain when perfectionism is harmful versus helpful - like whether a person struggles with a need for control or has difficulty tolerating uncertainty.
So What Does This All Mean?
While researchers will likely continue debating the exact definition of perfectionism, I don’t think the end result is that important for our goals here.
What I think is most valuable for overcoming perfectionism is understanding our personal relationship with it. Being able to notice the ways in which perfectionism helps us and ways in which it harms us. Acknowledging how it affects our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. And finding small ways to do things a bit differently, which can add up to big changes over time.
About Dr. Marnie Rogers-de Jong
My goal is to help people who feel overwhelmed by anxiety and perfectionism overcome their fears, embrace their unique strengths, and feel more content with who they are. I’m a Registered Doctoral Psychologist with a PhD in Counselling Psychology. I offer in-person counselling in Saskatoon and video counselling across Saskatchewan and Alberta.
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