Counselling for Trauma

You’ve been through a lot. And no matter how far you go, it seems like your past is always catching up to you. Memories of the things you’ve survived come up when you least expect - or want - them to. Perhaps it feels like you’re right back there again. You can see, hear, and feel things as though they’re happening now.

You’re often on edge. And sometimes your reactions seem over the top. Maybe you blow up in anger or panic over what seems like small things. You’ve learned to keep your guard up and your eyes open for danger. This way of looking at the world has kept you safe, but also makes it difficult for you to trust others.

You try to stay away from people and places that remind you of the past. So sometimes it feels like these experiences are still controlling you, dictating what you do and where you go.

You have a hard time trying new things and putting yourself out there. Or maybe you’re quick to take risks, sometimes doing things you later regret in an effort to feel something different.

Perhaps you blame yourself for things that were totally out of your control. Or feel like you deserve what happened to you in some way. And you can’t imagine a future that isn’t overshadowed by your past.

Woman looking down

What is Trauma?

Trauma is a response to difficult, upsetting, or disturbing experiences. Trauma can have lasting effects on how people think, feel, and act.

Traumatic experiences can include one-time events like a car accident, sudden loss, violent attack, or natural disaster. Trauma can also result from ongoing experiences such as being neglected or emotionally, physically, or sexually abused by a parent, family member, trusted adult, or partner.

Our brain and body have a built-in emergency response system. It’s activated during dangerous situations, to help us run away or fight back. Our muscles tense up, our heart rate increases, our blood pressure rises, and our senses become sharper. This is a normal response that’s key to our survival.

But when people have experienced trauma, their emergency system is often on high alert. It may be constantly going off, seeing everything and everyone as possible threats. And for good reason, based on what they’ve survived! But living in this constant state of emergency can negatively impact a person’s well-being.

Some common effects of trauma include:

  • Nightmares or intrusive memories of traumatic events

  • Experiencing past traumas as though they’re happening now

  • Physical symptoms like racing heart rate, muscle tension, sweating, restlessness, trembling, or nausea

  • Avoiding people, places, or situations that remind you of the past

  • Turning to unhelpful coping strategies, such as drugs and alcohol, disordered eating, or self-harm to numb or soothe yourself

  • Losing awareness of your surroundings

  • Feeling detached or separate from the present moment

  • Feeling uneasy or on edge; startling easily

  • Difficulties concentrating or making decisions

  • Negative thoughts about yourself and others (e.g., “I’m weak. I should be over this already”)

  • Feelings of guilt, shame, or hopelessness

  • Problems in relationships, such as difficulties trusting others

Woman sitting and looking at the view

Counselling for Trauma

Some people want to confront the details of what happened to them in counselling. We believe this is a personal decision. While some people find discussing the past healing, others find it upsetting. You’ll be in charge of what we talk about and when. We don’t need to get into the specifics, unless you think it will be helpful. We can focus on how the past is affecting you now and what you need to move forward.

Some of the other things we can work on include learning about how trauma affects your body and mind, sometimes in surprising ways. You can develop strategies for calming your “emergency response system.” We’ll identify the skills you learned to survive as best you could. We’ll also look at which of these skills are serving you well and which aren’t quite as helpful anymore. You’ll build coping strategies to deal with the past and take on new things. We’ll check in regularly on how things are going and plan your next steps together.

Schedule your Free Call

If you’re thinking about counselling, we offer a free 20-minute phone call. I want you to feel comfortable with whoever you choose as your therapist. We can discuss what you’re looking for in counselling, with no pressure for you to continue.