How All-or-Nothing Thoughts Lead to Procrastination

Perfectionism
Written By Dr. Marnie Rogers-de Jong

Do you set super high expectations for yourself?

Dismiss your successes, because there’s a bigger goal you still need to achieve?

Have trouble starting something if you don’t know whether you’ll be good at it?

Procrastinate on tasks when they seem too overwhelming?

These may be signs of all-or-nothing thinking. 

All-or-Nothing Thinking & Perfectionism

All-or-nothing thinking involves looking at situations in extreme terms. Seeing things as either black or white, a success or a failure, good or bad. Without any grey areas or middle ground in between.

All-or-nothing thinking is common with perfectionism.

And it’s a huge obstacle to getting things done. 

Thinking in black-and-white ways can make you feel overwhelmed and hopeless, leading to procrastination and avoidance.

In this article, I explain all-or-nothing thinking, show how it gets in the way of taking action, and offer 4 tips for resisting it.

Examples of All-or-Nothing Thinking

Here are some examples of all-or-nothing thoughts:

  • I have to be the best or it's not worth trying

  • Either I achieve my goals or I'm a disappointment

  • If I can't do it effortlessly, I shouldn't do it at all

  • I need to get everything on my to-do list done or it's a wasted day

  • If I make a mistake, I've messed everything up

  • I'm either completely in control or totally helpless

  • If I can't do it without any interruptions, I'll wait for the perfect moment

  • I’ll start fresh next week

All-or-nothing thinking frames situations in either/or terms, leaving us only the most extreme options. Which aren’t really great options at all.

How All-or-Nothing Leads to Procrastination

Our brains want to simplify things whenever possible. All-or-nothing thoughts are likely intended to give us a clear sense of the end goal. And it seems like they should motivate us toward reaching these achievements.

But black-and-white thinking usually leads to doing nothing versus doing it all.

Let’s consider an example.

Say you want to do a project in your home, maybe organizing a closet that’s packed full of random stuff. 

Imagine your mind is telling you that the only acceptable result is a spotless closet. Like something you’d see on Pinterest or Instagram. Some progress isn’t enough, this closet needs to be amazing.

Your mind is also saying that you need to know exactly what you’re doing before you start. Because there’s only one right way to do this project. No mistakes allowed.

Once you start, you need to finish. You should be able to achieve this goal all in one go. So you better have a whole day of peace and quiet to do things the right way.

How are you feeling about the project now?

Maybe overwhelmed and stressed out. Unsure about where to start. Discouraged. Perhaps doubting whether you can pull it off.

And how likely are you to take action? Or to keep going when you hit an obstacle?

If you’re anything like me, not very likely.

All-or-nothing thinking creates impossible expectations, leading to self-criticism, overwhelm, and avoidance.

Because we don’t think we can do things perfectly, we do nothing. 

But then we never move any closer to our goals.

So how do we push back against all-or-nothing thinking?

Tips for Resisting All-or-Nothing Thinking

Here are 4 tips for resisting all-or-nothing thinking.

1. Call it out

The first step is to practice calling out all-or-nothing thoughts as they happen. 

Start by getting really familiar with examples of black-and-white beliefs. Set aside a few minutes each day to reflect on times when you were pulled into extreme thinking. 

The more you notice these thoughts in hindsight, the easier it will be to call them out in the moment.

Here are a few examples of these call-outs in action:

Oh, I notice myself thinking I have to be perfect or I’m a failure. 

Hmm, my mind is only telling me about two extremes

Wait, that sounds like all-or-nothing thinking

2. Evaluate your expectations

We usually take all-or-nothing expectations for granted. We assume that we need to meet these standards without even questioning them. 

But why? And, who says?

When you catch yourself in all-or-nothing thoughts, critically evaluate them. 

What do you think of these black-and-white ideas? Where do they come from? Are these expectations you actually want to hold yourself to?

Often when we step back and evaluate all-or-nothing thoughts, we see how they’re unhelpful.

3. Consider a middle ground

Remember that “all” and “nothing” aren’t the only options. Be intentional about considering what’s in between.

You can try something new even if you don’t get it exactly right.

You can improve your skills while still making some mistakes.

You can get started now and figure things out as you go.

You can celebrate your successes even when there’s more you want to achieve.

4. Do something instead of nothing

The most reliable way to reach your goals is by taking one step at a time. 

If you wait for the perfect moment, you’ll likely be waiting forever. 

Identify one action you can take right now. No matter how small it seems.

Going back to the closet example. Start today by choosing just two items to donate. Next week, you can choose two more. Or you can organize one corner of one shelf.

Doing nothing gets us nowhere, but even small steps add up over time. Start there.

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About Dr. Marnie Rogers-de Jong

My goal is to help people who feel overwhelmed by anxiety and perfectionism overcome their fears, embrace their unique strengths, and feel more content with who they are. I’m a Registered Doctoral Psychologist with a PhD in Counselling Psychology. I’m also the founder of Navigation Psychology, located in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

Registered Psychologists in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

Interested in starting counselling? Navigation Psychology offers in-person counselling in Saskatoon and virtual services across the province of Saskatchewan. We support clients dealing with a variety of concerns, including anxiety, perfectionism, depression, trauma, and relationship issues. Get started by booking a free 20-minute consultation call.

Dr. Marnie Rogers-de Jong
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