Perfectionism & Procrastination: More Similar Than We Think?
At first glance, perfectionism and procrastination seem like they have nothing in common.
The typical picture of perfectionism is someone working 24/7. Going the extra mile to get every detail just right, no matter how long it takes. We assume that perfectionism makes people care too much about whatever they’re trying to accomplish.
When we think of procrastination, we likely expect the opposite. We might be picturing someone doing everything but working. Waiting until the last minute to get started and then finishing as quickly as possible. Perhaps we jump to the conclusion that procrastinating means that someone doesn’t care enough to put in the necessary time and energy.
While these issues may seem quite different on the surface, for many people, perfectionism and procrastination are closely connected.
What is Procrastination?
Procrastination involves putting off or delaying something, usually a task that we’d be better off doing now.
People can procrastinate in all different areas of their life, like work, school, or home. Examples at work could include avoiding returning a phone call, checking emails, submitting monthly reports, or starting your next big project.
If you’re a student, perhaps you’re putting off studying, deciding what topic to write your essay on, asking your professor a question, or filling out financial aid applications.
In your personal life, procrastination could look like delaying home repairs, paying bills or filing taxes, seeing a doctor, or getting your car in for an oil change.
We tend to procrastinate on tasks that we find challenging or uncomfortable in some way. And we usually procrastinate by instead doing something we find more enjoyable or rewarding, at least in that moment.
Procrastination can happen at any phase in a task. We can have trouble getting starting, staying focused, or finishing the job and calling it officially done.
What is Perfectionism?
People who experience perfectionism strive to meet impossibly high standards. Like being the fastest employee to move up the corporate ladder, getting the top grades in their class, having a perfectly clean home, or being 100% there for their friends. People may set these high expectations for themselves, believing that’s what they need to do to be successful or happy. Or, they may be pushing to meet expectations they believe others hold for them, like parents or employers.
Perfectionism also involves self-criticism. People often describe feeling like they’re never doing “enough.” Like they’re disappointing themselves or others. Or that it’s not okay to make mistakes. Perfectionism often creates a lot of difficult emotions, like feeling anxious, stressed, or burnt out.
We typically associate perfectionism with overdoing, like working long hours, checking things over and over, and getting every detail just right.
But perfectionism can also take people to the other extreme. where they avoid and procrastinate. Keep reading to learn more about the links between procrastination and perfectionism.
What do Perfectionism & Procrastination Have in Common?
Two themes that link these issues are “all-or-nothing” stories and “avoid failure at all costs” stories.
“All or Nothing” Stories
All-or-nothing thinking, also known as black-and-white thinking, involves looking at situations in terms of two extremes. We believe that we’re either good or bad; a success or a failure. There’s no in-between. There’s no “good enough.” There’s no progress until we’ve reached our ultimate goal.
Both procrastination and perfectionism feed off all-or-nothing thinking. Both issues try to convince us that if we don’t meet a super-high standard of success, we’ve failed. And, as I’ll discuss below, failure is seen as something to avoid at all costs.
Sometimes people deal with all-or-nothing stories by working as hard as possible. They do everything they can to meet their goals. They get stuck going over the smallest details. They beat themselves up over any perceived mistakes. They spend way too much time on whatever they’re doing, making changes that won’t make any real difference in the end.
But all-or-nothing thinking can also show up as procrastination. Maybe the person has a vision of what they want to achieve, but they don’t know how to get there. They don’t even know where to start! So they wait for inspiration to strike. For the perfect moment to take action. But that moment never comes. And then they beat themselves up for leaving things to the last minute once again.
Sometimes people who experience procrastination avoid thinking about whatever they need to finish. The idea of not knowing what to do or not measuring up feels too overwhelming.
Perfectionism and procrastination can be two different (but related) ways of responding to all-or-nothing ideas.
“Avoid Failure at All Costs” Stories
Perfectionism and procrastination also feed off fears of failure. These issues tell us that if we don’t meet certain standards, there’s something wrong with us. That we’re not good, smart, valuable, or competent people. Perhaps we worry that terrible things will happen if we don’t achieve our goals, like being abandoned by the people we care about. Or missing out on life-changing opportunities.
In that case, of course we’re going to feel stressed about getting things right every time. And that can look like doing everything possible to avoid failure. Or getting stuck, unable to take action.
Procrastination is often misunderstood as a lack of caring, interest, or motivation. But someone who’s struggling with procrastination might have difficulty getting things done because of how much they care about the outcome. Just like with perfectionism.
When Perfectionism and Procrastination Team Up
Some people notice that they move back and forth between procrastination and perfectionism. Often these problems team up, forming a vicious cycle of avoiding difficult tasks, obsessing over the details, criticizing our progress, feeling overwhelmed, and then avoiding the situation all over again. Getting caught in this cycle can be confusing and overwhelming.
Both perfectionism and procrastination take a toll on our well-being by:
Using up our precious time and energy
Holding us back from taking risks and trying new things
Feeding into self-doubt and negative self-talk
Focusing our attention on what we see as mistakes versus successes
Making every task feel like a life-or-death matter, even when it’s unlikely to affect us in the long run
Three Ways to Push Back Against Perfectionism & Procrastination
So how can we work against the “tag team” of perfectionism and procrastination? Here are three ways:
1. Watch out for thoughts that feed into “all or nothing” stories or “avoid failure at all costs” stories
These thoughts can sound like:
“I’m no good at this. Why bother?”
“I’m not making any progress. I’ll never get anywhere”
“I can’t start until…I have more information, I have more time, I feel more motivated”
“If I mess this up then…(insert terrible consequences here)”
2. Challenge these stories by thinking about alternatives
Think about all the options that fall between 100% success and 100% failure. Remember that done is better than perfect. Remind yourself that things will be okay even if you don’t get everything right. Notice what you’ve accomplished, even if you haven’t achieved your end goal yet.
3. Break things down and start small
Write down your goal. Then write down a smaller goal that will move you in the right direction. Then think of the first step toward that smaller goal.
For example, say your goal is to get a better handle on your finances. A smaller goal could be to learn more about what you spent your money on last month. The first step toward that goal might be downloading your bank statement.
You don’t have to do everything at once. Try to identify one step at a time. If that step seems overwhelming, keep breaking it down until it feels do-able.
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About Marnie Rogers-de Jong
My goal is to help people who feel overwhelmed by anxiety and perfectionism overcome their fears, embrace their unique strengths, and feel more content with who they are. I’m a Registered Doctoral Psychologist with a PhD in Counselling Psychology. I offer in-person counselling in Saskatoon and video counselling across Saskatchewan and Alberta.
Learn more about counselling for perfectionism.
Registered Psychologists in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Interested in starting counselling? Navigation Psychology offers in-person counselling in Saskatoon and virtual services across the province of Saskatchewan. We support clients dealing with a variety of concerns, including anxiety, perfectionism, depression, trauma, and relationship issues. Get started by booking a free 20-minute consultation call.
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