10 Counselling Goals for Perfectionism
Goals are the compass that guides therapy, giving the process a sense of direction and purpose.
I recently covered in detail why goals are so crucial for counselling.
To give a quick summary, setting goals helps to:
Make sure you and your therapist are on the same page
Plan the activities and topics that you’ll find most relevant
Track how things are going and make changes when needed
If you’re looking for inspiration, here are 10 common goals that people can work toward in counselling.
But I want to dive deeper into how these goals relate to perfectionism.
What can people living with perfectionism get from therapy?
Here are 10 examples.
Counselling Goals for Perfectionism
Getting to know yourself better
Counselling can help you better understand how perfectionism impacts you.
Like, how does perfectionism show up in your thoughts, feelings, and actions? How have you benefited from perfectionism? And what has it cost you?
This understanding helps with clarifying the specific changes you’d like to make. And planning how you’ll deal with likely obstacles.
Improving your communication
Many people who live with perfectionism say they have trouble communicating effectively.
They often hold themselves back, because they’re worried about what people will think of them. So they tend to avoid asking for what they need, voicing their opinions, and saying no.
In counselling, you can practice new, more assertive ways of communicating. Like how to start a proactive conversation instead of letting resentment build over time.
Learning new coping strategies
Perfectionism brings up some pretty heavy emotions, like anxiety, guilt, shame, and disappointment.
You and your therapist can identify new strategies for coping with tough emotions. For instance, practicing how to ground your nervous system when you’re in full-on stress mode.
Learning specific skills
Perfectionism can get in the way of using important skills, like setting boundaries, making decisions, and solving problems. Especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Work with your therapist to build these skills and put them into action.
Making sense of your past experiences
Sometimes our life experiences feed into perfectionism.
Here are a few examples:
Growing up with parents who set high expectations and often criticized you
Having to be really responsible and take care of others from a young age
Competing as an athlete, student, or performer, being constantly told to push yourself toward that next goal
Relationships with family and friends, cultural expectations, participating in achievement-focused environments - they can all impact perfectionism.
Counselling can help you to understand and work through these experiences.
Exploring your identity
People who struggle with perfectionism often have their identity wrapped up in achievement. In being the top student, most reliable employee, or the perfect parent.
So it’s hard for them to imagine moving away from perfectionism, even when it’s making them miserable.
Your therapist can support you in unpacking your sense of identity. In letting go of labels that aren’t serving you well. And exploring new ways of defining yourself, so you have more room to experiment, relax, make mistakes, and try new things.
Clarifying values and beliefs
Values speak to what’s most important to us; what we truly care about, at the end of the day.
When we’re chasing perfection, we may be doing things that move us further from our core values.
Like if you place high value on your family relationships, but spend all your time working or studying.
Or you really care about your health, but you’re pushing yourself into burnout
In counselling, you can define your values, apart from perfectionism. And consider specific ways to live them out day to day.
Breaking out of unhelpful patterns
Sometimes perfectionism gets us stuck in unhelpful patterns with others.
Here are some examples:
We withdraw from people to hide that we’re struggling, so they reach out less often, and then we’re even more isolated
We do everything necessary to stay on top of things at work, but we’re rewarded with even more work
We take responsibility for everything, so other people learn that they can just do the minimum around us
It’s easy to repeat familiar patterns over and over, especially when we’re not aware they’re happening. Counselling can be useful for observing these patterns and changing things up.
Changing behaviours
One of the challenges with perfectionism is getting trapped in unsustainable behaviours, like overworking, obsessing, or procrastinating.
So another goal you can work toward in therapy is ditching unwanted habits and creating new, more preferred behaviours
Conclusion
Counselling can be helpful in many different ways, so setting goals is a key step toward reaching your desired outcomes. Goals can change over time, but provide an initial sense of direction.
Clarifying what you want can be tough at first, especially with perfectionism clouding the picture. But your therapist can support you in defining goals that matter to you and then creating a plan to reach them.
Registered Psychologist in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Are you interested in starting counselling? Navigation Psychology offers in-person counselling in Saskatoon and virtual services across the province of Saskatchewan. We support clients dealing with a variety of concerns, including anxiety, perfectionism, depression, trauma, and relationship issues. Get started by booking a free 20-minute consultation call.
Free Mini Course: When is Perfectionism a Problem?
Wondering if perfectionism is an issue in your life?
Get clear on what perfectionism is, how it shows up day to day, and when it becomes a problem.
Use the video lesson and workbook to:
Understand 4 key aspects of perfectionism
Get examples of how perfectionism can impact your thoughts, feelings, and actions
Reflect on some fears people often have about giving up perfectionism
About Dr. Marnie Rogers-de Jong
My goal is to help people who feel overwhelmed by anxiety and perfectionism overcome their fears, embrace their unique strengths, and feel more content with who they are. I’m a Registered Doctoral Psychologist with a PhD in Counselling Psychology. I’m also the founder of Navigation Psychology, located in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.
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